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Thursday, April 27, 2006

Not-so-special delivery

Click here for the Flickr.com version.

A few photos I took at the '06 Aguila Awards last night are up on my Flickr.





Wednesday, April 26, 2006

Papa Don't Screech

New Smallville recap is up:

Did You Saw That!? -- It's not a rip-off, it's an homage of a recent horror movie...wait, can you homage something that just came out two years ago? No matter... Papa Luthor gets the Saw treatment, as an evil dude with a grudge makes him jump through hoops to prove that he's a Magnificent Bastard. Did we really need proof?




Oh, David

The one time in recent memory that something noteworthy happens to you, and you have to turn it into an event of such lameosity that it fits perfectly into your sad Family Guy-head-shaped universe:

Daly and Volmut gave the robbers a purse containing 200 euros, $100, a passport, plane tickets and a cell phone, plus $400 in pocket money, according to a police report. But Copperfield, his statement says, turned his pockets inside out to show that they were empty a sleight of hand by the master illusionist, who later showed police that his pockets were filled with cell phones, a wallet and a passport.

"Call it reverse pickpocketing," Copperfield later told the Palm Beach Post.


Clever, Copperfield. But can you reverse the lining in the empty pockets of your withered soul?

Link cortesía de Al




Tuesday, April 25, 2006

Revealed at last: The truth about Roni

While it's true that Roni is a sweet little girl if you treat her right, and that she feels nice when you hold her tight, I find it disturbing that only tender Ronis can give you special love, a special kind of love that makes you feel good inside.

I say this to Roni: if you believe in love and all that is can do for you, you should give it a chance. You might even find romance.

Fellas: If you find a tender Roni that is right for you, make it official already. Give her your love.

It's not easy, I know. Roni is always on the phone. She's always talking to her homeboy, wishing they were home alone. You might get letters from her (with the smell of sweet perfume). This, you see, is what a real tender Roni likes to do. For you.

Still, she's a sweet old girl. Likely, the sweetest little girl in the whole wide world. She has a talent for making the toughest homeboy fall deep in love. But, as the Amazon.com testimonials suggest, once you had a Roni, you will never give her up.

She has been known to:
  • Make her daddy feel proud.
  • Stand out in a crowd.
  • Be tender.
  • Be so right.
  • Be the kind of girl you could expect to love for the rest of your life.




New bed

I should be writing more here lately, but to be honest, I'm not even sure who I am right now.

We got a new bed delivered over the weekend and somehow my body tricked me into thinking the old bed was causing me to lose sleep and that things would be so much better when the new one arrived.

By Friday, I was such a mess that I had to go home early from work. I went to sleep late in the afternoon and woke up around 7:30 p.m. feeling so groggy I couldn't think for a half hour.

The next day, the new bed arrived and I made myself wait until that night to sleep on it. I got one of the greatest nights of sleep I've ever had. Everything was sharp and tangy the next morning. My brain was working at capacity. I had energy to burn.

Then Sunday night, I couldn't sleep again.

It's scary how your brain and your body work in concert to confuse you so badly. They like to trick you and make you think you know how things operate, and then they pull the business on you.

The weird sleep patterns have given me strange thoughts and, when I do sleep, even stranger dreams. I'm on ocean liners with old friends. I'm playing baseball. I'm moving to California.

The bed is great, though. It's so big, I have to have messages delivered to my wife via the cats. It's so big, my elbows can go all over the place and no one is the wiser. It's so big that I rolled off the bed and landed on more bed.

If only I could sleep on it.




Monday, April 24, 2006

True confessions, part 1

I once gave really bad directions to someone who was tipsy so they wouldn't get to my house while I had people over watching a movie.

They were a passenger in a car and I was like, "No, turn right. When you see a tree, make sure you keep going."

I can't imagine how frustrated the driver must have been, but that driver was a shady person I also didn't want near my house at that moment, and years later I have to say it was probably not the worst decision I ever made.




 

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