-- Linda Ellerbee
B -- Oscar the Grouch
C -- Dorothy Parker
D -- A person who could channel your vast reserves of ill-conceived
attempts at humor and convert them into a useful source of energy,
much like solar power.
every A answer you gave, find a mallet, place it near your
temple, pull back, and give it a firm whack. Not that this will do
any more damage, but it will amuse those around you. Don't give yourself
every B answer, give yourself a point, though I doubt it will
matter much when you're on your deathbed wishing you'd had more sex.
each C answer, give yourself two points, secure in the knowledge
that you may not be arch, but you're a bit of a sneaky, cheeky person.
each D answer, you really should be ashamed. Honestly. What
about the children? You are a rotten, cunning bastard. Give yourself
three ill-gotten points.
up your points. Tabulate as follows:
to 4 points: You are sweet-natured, polite, and not at all arch.
People make fun of you behind your back without fear of retribution.
to 8 points: Someone in your family must have swatted you at an
early age because there's a thin strip of snideness in you that probably
gets you in trouble on occasion.
to 12 points: You probably don't stay in relationship for very
long because nobody wants to put up with an asshole for long periods
of time. When you die, the money you earned from a lifetime of cunning
work may buy you an opulent funeral, but it won't buy many tears.
to 15 points: God, what a ripe son of a bitch you are. You are
smart, ruthless, sarcastic and very full of yourself. You will be
admired by some, hated by many and will probably claw your way to
the top with some well-chosen schemes and machinations. I'd like to
buy you a beer.
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