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04/06/01 (continued)
The real birthday fun page...

As promised, here are the birthday poems submitted by readers which, honestly, completely made my week. I should just turn this in to a funny poetry site, you creative bastards, you.

Here goes. First one is from my pal Winter. She says it's influenced by listening to children's music at the behest of her daughter:


All around at Omar's site,
the kitty chased the cat yummys
Cuz it's tough to break multinationals
Goes the tummy

Cosa's got no time to sigh
As banks extend another buy
So kiss off quick, it's off, it's spent!
Goes the 3rd World Debt!


This one's from Eileen:


Happy be you?
I hope so.
very much.


From my North Texas buddy Angi:


There once was a lad who took Geritol...
In fact, he did not have much hair at all....
It is is Omar's big B-day,
Yet he acts like it's D-day,
So he wants us to Karaoke and have a ball!!!


From Pamie, of course:


he's funny.
he gives me work.
he likes me.
he really likes me.
there's someone on my website
that searches for omar's name
every day.
like, six times.
and omar keeps playing the innocent.
but i finally caught him.
because i don't know
who else in the world
is searching for "omar and pamie naked"
or "pamie confesses her love for omar"
or "i wish omar would fuck me all weekend."
i'm onto him.
but, you know,
he's kinda funny.
and there's this painting
on vermont
like a mural
and it's supposed to be
johnny depp
but they changed a few things
to his face
and his coloring
and now he looks just like
omar watches me eat eggs on saturday mornings
and i kind of like that.


From Mornglory with tight rhymes,


Terribly Happy, never too sappy;
Gives wisdom and laughs, just like my old pappy.
Omar of Texas, his mad skilz perplex us
I wish for his birthday I could buy him a Lexus.


Monty sent this, but first the explanation:

Okay, this is a double-dactyl (See to read the complicated rules for the form):

Bonkadoo Zonkadoo
Terribly Happy
is Updated often
with Stories and quotes;

Omar the webmaster
Wanted as birthday gifts
Poetry jokes.


Anna sent these three haiku. Damn, girl. Triple action:


omar's birthday soon
omar is not a fatass.
happy birthday, o.

thursday we rejoice
omar turning twenty-what?
you can't tell your age?

mailed your package,
yes inflatable girl named sue
ain't that what you said?


A haiku from the lovely and talented Rachel:


Poems aren't hard.
You said *funny* poem, though.
That's too much pressure.


Greatness from Keli:


Swan Song

oh feathery screeching songbird

let me into
your Heart
your Soul

Allow me to
pluck you

I shall love
your Oscar Ovum
displayed for all the world to see

I will
dress you up
in my love

all over
all over

today is my birthday
I lie in the bathtub
and dream of flowers

and perhaps next time
you sing for me
it will be with

shiny pants and
messy hair

and you will dance and pout and scream and shout
as I paint huge spoons
for you


What? Another page of poetry? Isn't this like a record numer of pages for a single entry of Terribly Happy? ==>


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