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8/13/01
Scary business ...

 

Kitchen, 10 p.m. Monday night:

"Roach!"

"Where?"

"Over there! On the ceiling!"

"Shit!"

"Spray it! Spray it!"

PSSSSSHHHHHTTTTT!

"Got it."

"My hero."

"Damn right."

 

Bedroom, 3:15 a.m., Tuesday morning:

"I'm thirsty, you want anything?"

"Do whu...?"

"Be right back."

"No, I'll go too."

 

Living room, 3:17 a.m., Tuesday morning:

"Roach!"

"Where?"

"On the ceiling!"

"What? The same one?"

"How should I know?"

"Maybe it's one of his relatives, back for vengeance."

"Is that a beetle or a roach?"

"If it marries Yoko Ono, it's a beetle. If it has sex in a used soda bottle and pisses me off, it's probably a roach."

"Spray it! Spray it!"

"I need a chair."

"Get a chair! Spray it!"

"(mumble mumble)"

"What was that?"

"Why do I always gotta kill the damn bugs? Who made that my job?"

"You're the man."

"So, what, I'm supposed to kill it with my penis?"

"Just spray it, okay? It's 3:30."

"(mumble mumble)."

"I can hear you."

PSSSSSSSHHHHHHHTTTTTT!

"Why isn't it falling?"

"You want it to fall on me?"


"My name is Inigo Roachtoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die."

"No, but it's not even twitching."

"It likes the spray. The roach thinks we're grooming it."

"Spray it again!"

"It's next to the air conditioning vent. It's going to spray right back at me."

"No, the vents are pointed toward it. Use the vents."

"I don't think that's very wise."

"JUST DO IT!"

PSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHTTTTTT whooooooo PPSSSSSSHHHT!

"Cool! It's like spraying into a fan!"

"Phew. It smells."

"This is so cool! It works! He's getting the downwind spray!"

"(Cough) Okay, you can stop spraying now."

PPSSSSSHHHHHTTTT!

"I said STOP!"

"Okay. I think he's gonna die now, or at least get colon cancer or something."

"You're going to leave him up there?"

"He'll fall when the drugs get into his system and systematically destroy his life, like in Requiem for a Dream."

"Okay. Let's go back to bed."

"Did I spray into your water?"

 

More from the goddamned roach ==>

 

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Clip Art Corner

Back that attack up! Actually, I'm not even sure what this sign means, but it doesn't seem very friendly.


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