That's it. I've had it. Come on. Let me do it.
God: Do what?
God: For someone who's omnipotent, you sure are dim sometimes.
I want to do it. End this thing. Bust a cap in the Earth's ass.
God: "Bust a cap?" What are you, Deity of early-90s gangsta
God: Hey, shut up, I created
that phrase. And passed it down to my homies.
God: So you want to end the Earth? Do you know how boring it's
going to be around here if you do that?
God: I don't care. I've had enough. Did you see what they did
God: See it? Of course I saw it. I saw it before it happened.
God: So why didn't you stop it?
God: I believe we talked about this already back around the year,
oh, I don't know, ZERO!
God: How can you stand it? All this hate and destruction. This
little experiment failed, okay? Can't you just accept it?
God: I see past all that. Good things can come of this.
God: Stop it.
God: "Good things can come of it?" Who are you, Martha
Stewart? You think you can just put a little bow on this, use your
omniscient glue gun, and all of a sudden all this mass death will
be worth something?
God: First off, you're the one who made Martha Stewart. Second,
yes. You'll see. There is value in even this.
God: Like what?
God: Like maybe people will stop taking their lives for granted.
Maybe people will cherish their love, their freedom. They'll treat
each other better and learn that there are consequences to hate.
And maybe Jerry Bruckheimer will stop making movies with so many
God: They're already hating again. It only took them three days
to return to their ignorant spiteful ways. And lay off my boy
God: Not all of them. Many of them will remember. And
they'll go forward, remembering the pain and the hurt. They'll
God: There you go. Always making excuses for them. Don't you
want to just smite them a little? I mean, not just for this.
God: For what, then?
God: For what? For what? Look at them! Child
porn. Terrorism. Racism. The
MTV Music Video Awards. They're barely human anymore!