2/28/02
Fun
with Grammy photos...
I didn't watch the Grammys last night because, well, damn. It's the Grammys. If I wanted to spend four hours of my life watching listless performances, bad patter and questionable shout-outs to God, I'd just wait another month for the Oscars. In fact, I think I will do that.
But just because I missed the show itself doesn't mean I won't obsessively skim the Web for pictures about all the fashion disasters and read stories about all the backstage gossip (y'all -- Patti LaBelle? She's got big boobs. No, seriously. It's true).
The photos from the Grammys always crack me up. They make it look like the most boring train wreck of a party ever. Like, even if all those people were at this party, it would still be something you'd pretend to be sick for so you could keep your ass at home and watch Simpsons reruns.
So, here are some snapshots of what you missed if you were smart like me and did something more productive with your life than watch The Grammys, like say kicking a dog repeatedly in the genitals.
(All photos Reuters and AP credits)
Psst. Alicia. You've got some schmootz on your eye. Right there. Right... on... there. Just... Look, go to a mirror before you go onstage. I'm serious. Don't go up there until you get a chance to wipe that shit off.
Cristina Aguilera thought she was doing Karaoke night at a strip club. I like the red bow tie. Very Tom & Jerry. In space, her body only ages one year per second.
Hi. We're Train. You've heard of our song, "Drops of Jupiter," but you've never heard of us. And fate plans to keep it that way.
Phil Collins couldn't be here this year, so he sent his stand-in, Elvis Costello.
We're the artists from "O Brother, Where Art Thou?" We are actual musicians who produce actual music that we actually play on actual instruments. We don't know why the Hell we were invited to the Grammys either.
"I'm just glad Christina Aguilera and I aren't doing the same hairstyle, like we did last year. Damn, that was so embarrassing."More Grammy pics ==>
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Clip
Art Corner
"Don't mind me. I'm just here to frighten the children and steal their precious souls."