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Good Friday? It's a Great Friday...


Happy Good Friday, people.

Not that I have any idea what that's about. This week, one of my editors asked me if Easter falls on the 40th day after Ash Wednesday or 40 days + 1 after Ash Wednesday. My eloquent response, as a Catholic, was thus: "Buh?"

I'm ignorant about such things. I'm not afraid to admit it. I never went to Catholic school, I rarely went to church and I never had my first communion. If/when marriage comes into my life, I imagine I'll have to go take classes, like getting your Catholicism GED. I'm hoping the test they give you is multiple choice and has questions like:


Jesus Christ is to Catholicism as...
A. ...Vince Lombardi is to football.
B. ...the antennae Jack balls are to Jack in the Box.
C. ...Lenny is to Squiggy.
D. ...Joey is to "Friends"


The answer is, of course, I don't freakin' know! I've said it before, but to me, religious terms are like being on a boat and not knowing nautical terms. Archbishop? Starboard bow? Wafer? Dinghy?

It came up again this morning when I got into a conversation where I had to admit I had no idea what Good Friday was all about. I knew it has something to do with Easter, but that's it.:

"Hi there."

"Good Friday is the day that Jesus got crucified," I was told.

"So they call it Good Friday? What do they call it when he gets stoned or has to wear a crown of thorns? Fantastic Tuesday?"

That struck me as so strange that you would celebrate that. I understand that since he was supposed to have risen back up after the crucification, that it's a good thing. But maybe they could call it "Good-in-the-Long-Run Friday." Or "Good in a Way That Will Make Sense on Sunday, but for Now It's Still Friday." Right now, it sounds like they're just being sarcastic.

Maybe the Romans came up with it:

"Hey! Did you hear? Jesus got cruficied!"

"Yay! Let's celebrate! This is a good Friday."

You see? I'm pathetic.

And it's not that I don't want to know. I really am very curious about all this. I mean, many, many people base their entire lives on these teachings. I feel like it would help me to understand those people a little better if I could at least figure out why they're getting holidays from work. I'm no better with the Jewish faith or Buddhism. I just assume those religions are doing fine without my meddling and questioning.

I'm not quite of the "Religion is the opiate of the masses" school of thought, although I can see how some people like taking a bong hit of it now and again. It's not lack of interest, I swear.

Just like everyone else, I want to know something mystical and wonderful and unexplained. I want to let go and let faith in something carry me and fill me with something other than the physical self.

For me, today, Good Friday is a day when I go to work, maybe learn a little bit about where the holiday came from, and then plan to buy an Easter basket for someone I care about.

So far, it's a good Friday.




The LCP show ends this weekend. You can still catch it tonight and tomorrow night if you're in the Austin area. It's good. Would I lie to you? Kids — we got the goods.

Also, a new recap of the "Nicodemus" episode of "Smallville" is up. It's where the whole cast goes nuts. Bo Duke turns into a beer-drikin' Lothario. Lana Lang is a slut! Pete finally has stuff to do! Go check it out.

And two more things. I wrote (what I hope was) a scathing review of a rancid piece of Shiz-Tsu poo called "Death to Smoochy." You can find it here. I also was disappointed by the new George Lopez show. That review is over yonder. I swear, I'm not always this cranky in my criticism.

See ya next week.

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