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Thursday, January 26, 2006
Cool Myspace.com headline I'm too embarrassed to use:
"You're going to love my lovestink."
You know you're having a blah week when...
... the best thing that's happened to you is that the alterations store found the pair of black pants you thought they might have lost, and for which you'd lost the sales slip.
Wednesday, January 25, 2006
He's big and he's a momma... you must understand the confusion
When I'm working all the live-long day and something falls like meat into my mailbox with the subject line "Martin Lawrence," and then I open it and it reads, "Martin Lawrence... Big Momma Is Back!" in 40-point type, you must understand that this shit does things to my brain.
It sort of sends in into a little seizure where my whole flow just stops. My chi retches a little on some other plane and the hand the holds my mouse recoils, as if stung by wasps.
In my head I hear, "Martin... Lawrence... big momma... what the... WHO THE FUCK SENT THIS? My God! What is wrong with the world?! Who in the goddamn holy rolling wide world of entertainment journalism thinks this is news I can use? Should I reply? Would it do any good? What would I say? Would that be, like, racist, to single this movie out to get angry about? Who needs to see Martin Lawrence in a dress and ginormous falsies again? Who... what... oh my God, my brain just snapped. I have no oxygen. This is how I'm going to die. From an aneurism caused by an errant e-mail about a shitty movie I'm never even going to see. Because I'll be dead. But happy. Because I didn't have to watch that movie."
And then my hand has regained functionality and I've deleted the message and my brain is back to some kind of normal and I can get on with my day.
It was close, though. I could have died.
Tuesday, January 24, 2006
His panic (room)
New Smallville recap is up:
Deputy dogged -- A law enforcement witness to the Kryptonian spaceship landing forces Lex to hide in his panic room. That goes great until Lex gets shot in the chest. For the second time in three episodes.
When I was 15, finding out that the first two chapters of Stephen King's new horror novel, Cell (which sounds like his first truly great one in a few years) were being printed in Entertainment Weekly would have sent me into a furious smiling fit for a week.
Now, it'll probably only last for three or four days.
But still. Awesome.
Don't give up! Terribly Happy CD '05
It should have been done Sunday, but I'm still working on it.
The truth is, I've been thinking about a tracklisting since last year, and in the end, it only took me about 10 minutes to drag-and-drop the songs together in iTunes. Then another hour of second-guessing, re-encoding some songs from CDs and trying to find the right order.
So, before I change my mind, here's a preliminary list of what's on the CD (in no particular order):
Two songs by The Islands, a band you've probably never heard of that came out of the ashes of The Unicorns. Their first album's not out yet, but two songs were put out last year that won't be on that album, but which are still great.
"Gone" by Kanye West.
"House on Fire" by The Damn Millionaires
"DARE" by Gorillaz
"Please Please Please" by Fiona Apple
"Quédate" by Andrea Echeverri
"What You Meant" by Franz Ferdinand
"The High Road" by Bettye LaVette
"In the Backseat" by The Arcade Fire
"El Chupa Nibre" by Danger Doom
"Perfect Situation" by Weezer
"Que Onda Guero" by Beck
"Stay With You" by John Legend
"You're Beautiful" by James Blunt
... and three bonus tracks that are a surprise.
I'll post ordering information and explanations for all the songs in the next day or two, I hope.
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